Posts by mumofsonny

Hello, I'm a freelance writer and mum from Belfast. I specialise in human interest, fashion, beauty, lifestyle and celebrity profiles. I live with my best friend in the shape of a pretty amazing husband in the east of the city, our beautiful baby son Sonny and a boisterous rescue cat called Rex, a more appropriate name might be Wrecks. I've been putting pen to paper since I was a teenager. starting of with angst-ridden poems and progressing to write about things and people that inspire me. I love writing, it's a wonderful form of expression and I take pride in eliciting emotions in people. For me, that's the ultimate reward. I'm 30-something, and to my shame. it's taken me this long to galvanise myself to start a blog. It's probably a confidence thing but, as you get older, you're not so paralysed by what people think of you anymore. This is me, like it or lump it. With this blog, I'll be writing about my life, what I've learned, what I've still to learn and hopefully inspiring you and making you laugh and/or cry. I'm not here to ruffle feathers or be controversial. I'm just going to be myself. I hope you enjoy reading what I have to say. Love, Davina x

10 things to know about having a toddler…

Having a toddler is like having a mini wrecking ball. They’re loud, naughty and utterly adorable. As a first-time mum at 40, I’m not sure if the newborn days or the toddler days are the most difficult – I guess they’re difficult in equal measure but different ways. Here’s 10 things to know if your adorable baby is transforming into a tiny tearaway.

You need the patience of a very patient saint.

Toddlers are demanding, and quite frankly, pretty unreasonable. Their mood shifts from ecstatic to incredible hulk rage in a nanosecond – for no reason. Sonny flings his soother across the room and then wails because it’s no longer in his mouth. He flings his half full yoghurt pot across the kitchen, splattering the cupboards and screams because he wasn’t finished with it. He will point emphatically at what you think he wants and screech when you don’t get it right. I long for the day when he can tell me what he wants… or do I??

You can forget about being house proud.

Ahhh, gone are the days when I’d treat myself to candles and succulents, wine glasses, cushions and photo frames – or tat as my husband calls it. Still, they made me feel at home. Since Sonny arrived, I’ve resigned myself to finding MegaBloks in the washing machine, nappy bags and wet wipes strewn all over the floor, baby socks… everywhere. Your home becomes a playground, and aside from a few nice vases and mirrors that eclipse his grubby little hands, our house permanently looks like we’ve been burgled.

You get used to operating on a tight budget.

Babies are expensive. Not even mentioning the kit you need, there’s clothes, nappies, toys, outings, birthday and Christmas presents. If you’re lucky you may be able to indulge on the very odd ASOS purchase but when you have a baby, you automatically put yourself second. Your little one’s needs trump your own.

Your household chores get more difficult.

Extra everything. Dishes, laundry, tidying, cleaning. It doesn’t help much when my darling boy pulls clean clothes off the clothes horse – a permanent fixture in our living room – and discards them around the floor. He also takes it upon himself to put items that don’t meet his approval in the household waste. I am the dishwasher and there’s a a constant flow of dishes. Our two wrecked laundry baskets bulge and spill their contents onto the ‘floordrobe’. The floor constantly needs wiped from spillages and other matter I do not care to investigate.

You must acclimatise to very loud noises.

There is a lot of screeching and wailing. I joked to my husband that it’s akin to the sickener on SAS: Who Dares Wins. Damn, toddlers are loud. They definitely don’t mix with hangovers. So, you should take it easy on the mummy medicine, because they sound a whole lot louder if you’ve had a few rare tipples with a friend or even more rarer – a night out. So unless you invest in a pair of noise-reducing headphones – which probably would be frowned upon – you better suck it up.

Bannisters are such fun.

Toddlers have an insatiable appetite for knowledge.

At 20 months, Sonny favours books over toys. He’ll choose a book every morning to bring downstairs. While he falls over his feet (a lot), you can see that he is picking so much up and he’s learning how to push my buttons. His new favourite thing is to climb up onto the kitchen table, where my computer is set up and proceed to kick the monitor. Despite my protestations and admonishments, his big blue eyes glisten with glee, his gorgeous grin large – and utterly adorable. It’s very difficult for me to keep a straight face.

Coffee shops and restaurants are out.

Sorry, this is a tough one. Coffee shops were a daily haunt when Sonny was tiny, but now, coffee shops with a toddler are insanity. Toddlers do not stay still, get aggravated very quickly and your ideas of ‘relaxing’ are, well, pretty far-fetched. The same goes for restaurants. Fine if you don’t mind your food going cold while you chase an excited toddler around a restaurant several times and restrain him or her from climbing the knee of an unimpressed diner.

All is (almost) forgiven.

You gravitate toward the baby and toddler aisle at the supermarket.

Ordinarily, I might glide into the clothes aisle for a nice pair of slippers but now every time I do the usual supermarket run, I start off scouring the toddler clothes sale section or meander around the snack section. As an impulsive buyer, I need to exercise caution or I’ll spend money we don’t have on cute outfits.

Nights off become a luxury

Before becoming a mum, nights out were a necessity, a way to wash away your cares. Now, while still a necessity, they’re an absolute luxury. Having an evening away from your (dear beloved) is bliss. Being able to offload about mum-life is blissful… and so necessary.

You fall in love more and more every single day.

No-one will tell you that parenting is easy. But, there are rewards, no matter how fleeting. Those moments when my chubby-cheeked toddler grins at me displaying his tiny, cute teeth in all their glory, when he runs to me arms outstretched, when he plumps his perfect head on my chest when he is tired or needing comfort, or the best thing ever – watching him peacefully sleep, warm and content. It’s the best thing ever. Honest.

Ain’t no Hood like motherhood. (19 months postpartum).

I’ve not written in a while. It’s hard to find the time when you have a tiny human (quite literally) snapping and wailing at your heels. Sonny is a big ball of energy – shrieking, laughing, crying, torturing the long-suffering cat. His only words ‘maaaama’ and ‘ooooh’. I’m dizzy in love with him though. I think I could gaze for hours at his perfect crystal blue eyes, his outrageous dark lashes, his chubby wrists, even his squidged up nose when he’s completely overwhelmed by his emotions.

After a fairly peaceful period of relative normality, January hit us hard. Sonny picked up a nasty tummy bug, but took it like a (little) man and fairly nonchalantly vommed as he toddled around grinning. We were equally bemused and horrified at this unexpected turn of events. Sonny, meanwhile, wasn’t that bothered by his bodily functions. While keeping an avid eye on his temperature, we put it down to a common childhood illness.

Unfortunately, the next morning, my poor husband announced he wasn’t feeling the best. This usually means my beloved needs to lie down for a few hours. This time though, it was more serious. It seemed the tummy bug had jumped ship from Sonny to Andrew. He took to bed and moaned a lot while making regular trips to the bathroom. I sighed, thinking another bad case of man illness. I got on with the day’s tasks but I started to feel a bit ropey around 7pm that evening. I swayed up the stairs and declared I was about to die.

Yes, I was also succumbing to whatever it was that had taken over the Gordon household. I climbed into our bed, feeling rubbish, riding the waves of nausea. Times like this, you need a few bathrooms. Still, even though we were feeling horrible, I felt grateful for the fact that Sonny was OK. That he was clambering on us and smacking us on the face as we were horizontal, wishing we had a magical fairy godmother to look after our darling child until we were both better.

Parenthood is the craziest, most magical thing that has ever happened to me. I’m incredibly grateful to have a son who brings me so much joy. He has completely changed my life. Becoming a parent awakens something in you. For me, I want to step up, be a great parent, the type that he will want to become in the future. Becoming a mum has awakened something else inside me, the need to emerge from the person I’ve hidden behind for too long, the weak, scared, insecure girl. I feel the best I’ve felt in a long, long time. I care so much less about other people’s opinions and it’s very liberating. I’m ready to live and it’s about time.